1 00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:04,599 Slimy Stuarts, vile Victorians 2 00:00:04,600 --> 00:00:06,999 castles, daring knights 3 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:09,799 Cut-throat Celts, awful Egyptians 4 00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:12,199 Punishment from ancient times 5 00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:15,039 Cavemen savage, fierce and toothless 6 00:00:15,040 --> 00:00:18,039 measly Middle Ages 7 00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:20,759 8 00:00:20,760 --> 00:00:23,279 9 00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:26,239 10 00:00:26,240 --> 00:00:27,719 11 00:00:27,720 --> 00:00:31,839 12 00:00:31,840 --> 00:00:34,680 Horrible Histories presents... 13 00:00:37,760 --> 00:00:39,439 - Mums love their kids. 14 00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:42,199 Well, except maybe when we forget to turn the taps off, 15 00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:44,519 or we leave the guinea pig cage open, 16 00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:47,039 or we fight with our brothers and sisters. 17 00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:49,959 Three of Eleanor of Aquitaine's sons fought with each other, 18 00:00:49,960 --> 00:00:51,559 but it didn't matter to her. 19 00:00:51,560 --> 00:00:54,079 She still thought of them all as kings. 20 00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:55,679 That's because they were! 21 00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:58,079 King Henry the Young King, King Richard 22 00:00:58,080 --> 00:00:59,959 the Lionheart, and King John. 23 00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:02,719 Eleanor was Queen of England, and when her sons fought, 24 00:01:02,720 --> 00:01:04,319 they really fought. 25 00:01:04,320 --> 00:01:06,439 - Who left the guinea pig cage open? 26 00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:08,399 - Oh, no. 27 00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:10,039 28 00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:11,079 - 29 00:01:11,080 --> 00:01:13,559 - - And this is our mum 30 00:01:13,560 --> 00:01:15,239 31 00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:18,199 Aquitaine 32 00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:20,559 33 00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:22,799 34 00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:25,239 35 00:01:25,240 --> 00:01:27,959 romance 36 00:01:27,960 --> 00:01:30,079 England 37 00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:32,919 hand 38 00:01:32,920 --> 00:01:35,159 39 00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:37,559 40 00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:40,039 41 00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:42,319 the King 42 00:01:42,320 --> 00:01:44,839 my son 43 00:01:44,840 --> 00:01:46,799 44 00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:49,359 to reign 45 00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:52,279 shame 46 00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:54,039 47 00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:56,879 Aquitaine 48 00:01:56,880 --> 00:01:58,919 49 00:01:58,920 --> 00:02:01,799 Aquitaine 50 00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:04,439 51 00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:06,719 52 00:02:06,720 --> 00:02:08,959 53 00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:11,479 free 54 00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:13,919 wife 55 00:02:13,920 --> 00:02:16,359 own life 56 00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:18,679 crusade 57 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:21,119 accolade! 58 00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:23,559 land 59 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:26,039 60 00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:28,359 61 00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:30,639 or three 62 00:02:30,640 --> 00:02:33,199 was dead 63 00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:35,919 64 00:02:35,920 --> 00:02:37,679 65 00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:40,519 66 00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:42,559 67 00:02:42,560 --> 00:02:45,359 Aquitaine 68 00:02:45,360 --> 00:02:47,759 69 00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:49,679 70 00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:52,239 Richard had died 71 00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:54,679 side 72 00:02:54,680 --> 00:02:56,839 release 73 00:02:56,840 --> 00:02:59,719 this fight in my seas 74 00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:02,039 friends 75 00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:04,479 peaceful end 76 00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:06,799 John 77 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:09,839 being a mum 78 00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:12,040 79 00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:18,040 - Spartan soldiers are some of the toughest in the world. 80 00:03:18,041 --> 00:03:20,399 The only thing tougher than them... 81 00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:22,159 - Come on, you muppets. 82 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:23,599 - ..are their mums. 83 00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:24,879 - Get up! Sit up! 84 00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:26,680 - This is... 85 00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:31,399 - Come on. 86 00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:33,119 Tell me something, 87 00:03:33,120 --> 00:03:35,239 do you want to be in the Spartan army? 88 00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:36,599 - ALL: Yes, Mummy. 89 00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:38,759 - What did you say? - ALL: Yes, Mummy! 90 00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:40,519 - Drop down and give me 300. 91 00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:41,599 - WHIMPERING 92 00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:42,679 - They're good boys, 93 00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:44,119 but they need to grow a spine. 94 00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:45,599 I mean, they're Spartans. 95 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:47,799 They need to learn to be as tough as their mothers. 96 00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:51,799 And believe me, we need to be tough to raise sons as tough as Spartans. 97 00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:53,119 - Can I get up now? 98 00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:54,519 - Did I say you could speak? 99 00:03:54,520 --> 00:03:55,639 - Sorry, Mummy. 100 00:03:55,640 --> 00:03:58,999 - I'm meant to send you pathetic babies out to fight for us. 101 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:00,399 Do you want to go to battle? 102 00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:02,839 Or will you come running home to your mummy? 103 00:04:02,840 --> 00:04:03,919 - No, Mummy. 104 00:04:03,920 --> 00:04:05,919 - "No, mummy!" A coward! 105 00:04:05,920 --> 00:04:07,359 I should have left you outside 106 00:04:07,360 --> 00:04:09,199 on the hill, like your other brother. 107 00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:11,239 - What other brother? 108 00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:13,239 - Exactly. 109 00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:15,879 - What Mummy wants, Mummy gets, 110 00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:17,279 or you die. 111 00:04:17,280 --> 00:04:19,079 - Attention! 112 00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:20,519 Let me look at you. 113 00:04:20,520 --> 00:04:22,719 - Oh, you don't want us to get naked again, do you? 114 00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:25,399 - That is the best way to assess your physical fitness. 115 00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:27,799 But no, not this time. 116 00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:29,719 - Oh, that's a shame. 117 00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:31,799 I've been working on my abs. 118 00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:33,759 Ouch...really hurt. 119 00:04:33,760 --> 00:04:35,119 - Shields! 120 00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:36,679 - Ooh! 121 00:04:36,680 --> 00:04:38,479 - These are your shields, 122 00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:40,639 you carry them into battle. 123 00:04:40,640 --> 00:04:42,799 You return with them or on them. 124 00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:44,159 - Ooh! Like a sledge? 125 00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:46,279 - No, like a stretcher. 126 00:04:46,280 --> 00:04:47,839 Dead, dummy. 127 00:04:47,840 --> 00:04:49,559 - Shame about the sledge. 128 00:04:49,560 --> 00:04:50,959 That sounded fun. 129 00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:52,319 - SHE SCREAMS 130 00:04:52,320 --> 00:04:53,959 - Oh, I weed, I weed. 131 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,479 I'm sorry, Mummy. 132 00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:56,800 I can't do this. 133 00:04:58,920 --> 00:05:01,679 - You are a disgrace! 134 00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:03,799 - The three gruelling weeks are over, 135 00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:05,239 and this is the end... 136 00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:08,119 ..of the beginning of their training, 137 00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:11,399 which will last for many years to come. 138 00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:13,199 - I want my mummy! 139 00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:14,639 - Archidamus! 140 00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:17,439 - I know, drop and give you 300. 141 00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:20,279 - One, two, two and a half. 142 00:05:20,280 --> 00:05:21,759 - Oh, it hurts, Mummy! 143 00:05:21,760 --> 00:05:23,320 - I'm not even counting that one. 144 00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:26,719 - Thankfully, I'm not a Spartan. 145 00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:28,919 My mum is much more chilled. 146 00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:30,479 And here she is! 147 00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:31,919 - Hello, love. 148 00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:33,199 - Hello, Mumas. 149 00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:35,399 I love it when she comes to visit. 150 00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:38,679 - Oh, you've got a lovely place. 151 00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:40,239 I tell all the other parents, 152 00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:43,119 "My son lives in an actual sewer." 153 00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:44,959 I'm so proud. 154 00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:46,159 - Thanks, Mum. 155 00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:48,839 Someone else who loved it when his mum came to visit 156 00:05:48,840 --> 00:05:51,839 was notorious crime boss Al Capone. 157 00:05:51,840 --> 00:05:55,359 And she used to visit him when he was in prison. 158 00:05:55,360 --> 00:05:58,479 - Imagine living in a nasty place like a prison. 159 00:05:58,480 --> 00:05:59,530 - THEY SHUDDER 160 00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:04,439 - Prisoner 85, 161 00:06:04,440 --> 00:06:08,279 Alphonse Al Capone, reporting to se his approved visitor. 162 00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:11,479 Please be advised that Mr Capone is one of the most dangerous 163 00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:14,080 criminal mafia bosses who ever lived. 164 00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:18,879 - Now, you listen here and you listen good, see. 165 00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:20,640 I got something to show. 166 00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:26,639 I've written you a song, you hear? 167 00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:27,999 It's called "Mother", 168 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:30,399 ain't that something, Ma? 169 00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:32,319 170 00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:34,599 171 00:06:34,600 --> 00:06:35,999 172 00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:38,599 English. 173 00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:39,759 - SHE SPEAKS ITALIAN 174 00:06:39,760 --> 00:06:42,119 - Hey, you know the rules, Mama Capone, 175 00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:44,119 English only, no Italian. 176 00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:47,119 - She only speaks Italian, you great stupid! 177 00:06:47,120 --> 00:06:49,759 - Sorry, Al, you know, I'm just trying to do my job here. 178 00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:52,119 - Now, where was I? 179 00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:54,359 180 00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:56,559 181 00:06:56,560 --> 00:06:58,199 182 00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:00,879 - tax 183 00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:04,759 - lonely 184 00:07:04,760 --> 00:07:06,999 185 00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:09,159 186 00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:12,519 - 187 00:07:12,520 --> 00:07:14,759 - Pasta! 188 00:07:14,760 --> 00:07:16,679 - 189 00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:18,879 190 00:07:18,880 --> 00:07:20,399 191 00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:27,280 - 192 00:07:29,720 --> 00:07:31,639 - Fantastic! 193 00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:33,519 - Well done! Well done! 194 00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:35,720 - Hey! No Italian. 195 00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:50,159 - Hello, I'm Hannah Ayscough, and this is my son, Sir Isaac Newton. 196 00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:55,479 Mathematician, astronomer, author, MP, Master of the Royal Mint, 197 00:07:55,480 --> 00:07:59,599 discoverer of the laws of gravity, and failed farmer. 198 00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:01,759 - You know, most people wouldn't have felt the need 199 00:08:01,760 --> 00:08:03,239 to add that bit on the end. 200 00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:08,079 - I just don't think you gave farming a good enough go, Isaac. 201 00:08:08,080 --> 00:08:11,199 - I have one of the greatest minds in the history of science, and Mum 202 00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:14,919 pulled me out of school at 17 so I could learn how to be a farmer. 203 00:08:14,920 --> 00:08:17,159 - It's a good job! You get free milk, 204 00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:18,719 loads of fresh air, 205 00:08:18,720 --> 00:08:21,519 plus all the manure you can eat. 206 00:08:21,520 --> 00:08:22,799 - You don't eat... 207 00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:24,759 Do you even know what manure is? 208 00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:27,959 I-I don't want to be a farmer! 209 00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:30,999 - Oh, people will always want farmers, Isaac. 210 00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:34,999 Plus, they'll give you something to fall back on if the whole gravity 211 00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:37,159 thing doesn't work out. 212 00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:40,639 - If my headmaster hadn't written and asked Mum to send me back 213 00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:43,159 to school, I'd probably be a farmer. 214 00:08:43,160 --> 00:08:44,799 - He'd have been a great farmer. 215 00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:46,959 - To be fair, I would have smashed being a farmer. 216 00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:49,360 - Give your mum a kiss. - No. - Come on. 217 00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:52,920 He loves me. 218 00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:58,879 - You've heard of the evil stepmothers in Cinderella and Snow White. 219 00:08:58,880 --> 00:09:02,599 Well, now it's time for something new. 220 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:04,959 - Mirror, mirror on the wall. 221 00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:07,959 Who's the loveliest of them all? 222 00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:11,039 - An evil stepmother queen... 223 00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:13,479 ..isn't in this tale. 224 00:09:13,480 --> 00:09:16,119 - Oh, it's my super stepchildren! 225 00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:18,400 They are the loveliest of them all. 226 00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:26,720 - Also starring Henry VIII's children... 227 00:09:30,240 --> 00:09:35,119 The dramatic story of how a queen used her powers over a princess. 228 00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:36,479 - Elizabeth! 229 00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:37,679 - Yes, Stepmother? 230 00:09:37,680 --> 00:09:39,480 - These curtains are dusty. 231 00:09:39,481 --> 00:09:42,919 I'd better open them to keep the dust away 232 00:09:42,920 --> 00:09:44,519 from this lovely picture. 233 00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:48,039 - To help bring her back into favour with her father. 234 00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:49,559 - May I keep it, Stepmother? 235 00:09:49,560 --> 00:09:52,519 - No, you may not. It's ugly... 236 00:09:52,520 --> 00:09:53,679 - Oh... 237 00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:55,399 - ..how your father has treated you. 238 00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:57,039 Beheading your mother, Anne Boleyn, 239 00:09:57,040 --> 00:09:59,079 and saying you're not his proper daughter. 240 00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:01,839 That's why I'm gifting this painting to the King 241 00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:03,679 to remind him how lovely you are. 242 00:10:03,680 --> 00:10:05,119 - SHE SQUEALS 243 00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:07,559 - Lovely. You're lovely! Lovely. 244 00:10:07,560 --> 00:10:09,959 - THEY CHEER 245 00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:11,759 THEY LAUGH 246 00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:13,279 - No, no. 247 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:16,880 - The tale of how Henry VIII's final wife put her children to work... 248 00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:23,279 ..on their education, which she actively encouraged. 249 00:10:23,280 --> 00:10:26,919 - Congratulations on another A star, you absolute boffin. 250 00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:28,479 - Oh, thanks, Stepmummy. 251 00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:31,159 - You're just as clever as your sister. 252 00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:33,239 God has given you great qualities. 253 00:10:33,240 --> 00:10:35,839 Cultivate them always and labour 254 00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:37,199 to improve them. 255 00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:39,719 - But then there was Mary. 256 00:10:39,720 --> 00:10:42,879 - Stepmother, what are you doing? 257 00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:45,479 - Why, cutting a rose for your beautiful hair. 258 00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:47,719 - Who she was also really lovely to. 259 00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:49,199 - Oh! 260 00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:50,839 - Coming soon... 261 00:10:50,840 --> 00:10:52,679 SHE CACKLES 262 00:10:52,680 --> 00:10:55,960 ..to a theatre near you: Katherine Parr... 263 00:10:57,480 --> 00:10:59,880 - Guys, soup's ready! 264 00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:06,959 - Oh, yes. 265 00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:10,479 If you have a loving mum or stepmum at home, then you're very lucky. 266 00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:12,719 I learned everything I know from my mum. 267 00:11:12,720 --> 00:11:14,999 FARTING 268 00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:17,199 Yep, that's where I get it from. 269 00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:20,279 Mums will always see their kids as their babies, 270 00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:22,039 even when we're grown up. 271 00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:24,439 When legendary lawyer and political figure 272 00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:28,039 Mahatma Gandhi first left his home in India to study in London, 273 00:11:28,040 --> 00:11:31,879 his mum Putlibai found it hard to let him go. 274 00:11:31,880 --> 00:11:34,639 - Well, it's hard when your kids leave home. 275 00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:37,359 Ooh! You've got a little bit of fur out of place. 276 00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:38,599 Let me stick it down. 277 00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:40,039 - Mum...stop! 278 00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:41,359 No, no. Put it... 279 00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:42,680 SHE BABBLES 280 00:11:42,681 --> 00:11:46,519 PUTLIBAI: - Aw, I can't quite believe it. 281 00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:50,719 My little Mohandas, all grown up and heading to London! 282 00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:52,639 We are so proud of you. 283 00:11:52,640 --> 00:11:54,519 Try not to change too much. 284 00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:55,719 - I won't, Mama. 285 00:11:55,720 --> 00:11:58,199 But just imagine - I'll be at the centre of it all, 286 00:11:58,200 --> 00:11:59,959 meeting brilliant men and women... 287 00:11:59,960 --> 00:12:01,439 Ow! 288 00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:04,719 - These English women can't be trusted, Monia. 289 00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:07,559 You're staying put with a nice Indian woman - 290 00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:08,999 just like your mama. 291 00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:11,559 - I'm going to study law, Mother, not women! 292 00:12:11,560 --> 00:12:16,319 OK. If I promise to stay away from women, please, can I go? 293 00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:18,079 I promise, I'll study the whole time - 294 00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:19,679 in my rooms, in the libraries, 295 00:12:19,680 --> 00:12:21,639 and in the local pubs, where I'll discuss important... 296 00:12:21,640 --> 00:12:23,559 CLANG! Ow! Can you stop doing that?! 297 00:12:23,560 --> 00:12:27,599 - No pubs, no women, no wine, no England! 298 00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:29,039 It's just like your uncle says. 299 00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:30,679 You'll become too European. 300 00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:32,319 You're staying put! 301 00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:34,039 - No! No, Mama! 302 00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:35,239 Oh, Mummy, you're strong! 303 00:12:35,240 --> 00:12:36,639 OK! OK! 304 00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:39,639 No women, no wine, no pubs. 305 00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:41,359 BREATHLESSLY: Just studying. 306 00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:43,679 And of course, eating. - Right! 307 00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:45,759 - Mama... Mama! Mama?! 308 00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:46,799 SHE GRUNTS 309 00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:47,959 MAN: - Ahh! - Oh! 310 00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:49,039 - Where did that come from? 311 00:12:49,040 --> 00:12:50,559 - Oh, sorry! 312 00:12:50,560 --> 00:12:51,719 What are you doing? 313 00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:53,959 - English food is full of heavy meat. 314 00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:55,519 You're vegetarian. 315 00:12:55,520 --> 00:12:58,999 My little Mohandas is staying put. 316 00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:00,319 - OK! 317 00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:05,959 If I promise to stay away from women and wine... - And meat. 318 00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:07,599 - Fine. And meat, fine. 319 00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:10,919 ..can I please go to England? 320 00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:13,639 - But of course you can, silly. 321 00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:15,119 - Thank you. 322 00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:16,679 I'd better go get my suitcase. 323 00:13:16,680 --> 00:13:18,239 MAN: - Ow! 324 00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:21,239 - And possibly fetch a doctor for the man that it landed on. 325 00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:23,319 - You're a good boy. 326 00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:24,719 Oh, and, Mohandas! 327 00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:26,039 - Yes, Mama? 328 00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:28,399 - Don't forget to have fun, beta. 329 00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:29,800 - OK, Mummy! 330 00:13:35,120 --> 00:13:36,679 - Hiya. It's me. 331 00:13:36,680 --> 00:13:38,479 Cleopatra, Pharaoh of Egypt. 332 00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:41,279 And this is my son by Julius Caesar, 333 00:13:41,280 --> 00:13:43,119 Caesarion. - Hi, guys. 334 00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:44,519 - Shall I tell them what I call you? 335 00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:45,799 - Please, don't. - Why not? 336 00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:47,399 - It's embarrassing. - It's not. 337 00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:49,279 - No. Please, don't do this to me again. Come on. 338 00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:51,199 - But it's so cute! 339 00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:52,919 - All right, fine. Go on, then. 340 00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:55,479 - I call him Ptolemy Caesar Pilopator 341 00:13:55,480 --> 00:13:56,839 Philometor, the Pharaoh, 342 00:13:56,840 --> 00:14:00,839 a god, a son of gods, a king of kings, 343 00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:03,439 the living image of the god Amun. 344 00:14:03,440 --> 00:14:06,399 - I mean, I bet all mums have pet names for their kids, right? 345 00:14:06,400 --> 00:14:07,839 - Boop! - Mm. 346 00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:09,600 - Oh, who's my Caesie-weasie! 347 00:14:09,601 --> 00:14:15,039 - FRENCH ACCENT: Most children would do anything for their mothers, 348 00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:16,279 wouldn't they? 349 00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:18,039 SCOTTISH ACCENT: Ha! Well, not my son! 350 00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:21,359 When my cousin Queen Elizabeth locked me up for 19 years, 351 00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:24,479 I wrote to my wee boy, King James VI of Scotland 352 00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:26,119 to ask him to help me get out! 353 00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:29,080 FRENCH ACCENT: And I must say, I was rather disappointed. 354 00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:37,839 FRENCH ACCENT: Bonjour, James. Maman here. 355 00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:40,399 I do hope that you are enjoying looking after... 356 00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:42,359 SCOTTISH ACCENT: ..my Scottish throne for me! 357 00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:45,159 FRENCH ACCENT: This is just another message asking 358 00:14:45,160 --> 00:14:47,039 if I can perhaps come and visit. 359 00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:50,039 Maman does so miss her darling boy. 360 00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:53,279 SCOTTISH ACCENT: And also the crown that your friend stole from me 361 00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:54,799 and gave to you! 362 00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:56,399 FRENCH ACCENT: I'm not going anywhere. 363 00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:59,230 SCOTTISH ACCENT: Because I'm locked up in this castle! 364 00:15:01,480 --> 00:15:02,559 - Hey, Mum! 365 00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:04,599 Got your messages. All of them. 366 00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:06,519 I miss you, too. Sort of. 367 00:15:06,520 --> 00:15:09,039 I mean, I've not actually seen you since I was, like, 13 months old. 368 00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:11,399 I would absolutely love you to visit. 369 00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:15,039 It's just, well, you know Cousin Elizabeth, Queen of England? 370 00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:17,479 She might be a little bit upset 371 00:15:17,480 --> 00:15:20,039 if you don't stay away from Scotland. 372 00:15:20,040 --> 00:15:21,879 And we wouldn't want to annoy her, now, would we? 373 00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:23,599 So... - A big bag of money to side 374 00:15:23,600 --> 00:15:25,559 with Queen Elizabeth, Your Majesty. - BAG THUDS 375 00:15:25,560 --> 00:15:28,639 - That money has absolutely nothing to do with me siding with Elizabeth. 376 00:15:28,640 --> 00:15:30,560 Got to go now, Mum. Bye! 377 00:15:31,560 --> 00:15:33,239 - FRENCH ACCENT: Sweetie pie! 378 00:15:33,240 --> 00:15:37,639 I am so happy that you are getting on so well with Cousin Elizabeth. 379 00:15:37,640 --> 00:15:41,039 If you could perhaps ask her to not accidentally 380 00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:43,039 execute me or something? 381 00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:45,799 SCOTTISH ACCENT: If she can do it to me, she can do it to you! 382 00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:47,040 You ken, pal?! 383 00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:49,279 - Mummy. Chill! 384 00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:51,399 Cousin Lizzie is an honourable queen. 385 00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:53,719 She would never allow harm to come to another monarch. 386 00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:54,919 Trust me. 387 00:15:54,920 --> 00:15:56,839 - More money from England, Sire. - Seriously? 388 00:15:56,840 --> 00:15:58,239 Not the time! We talked about this. 389 00:15:58,240 --> 00:15:59,320 Oh! 390 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:03,439 - Oh, James. 391 00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:05,479 Jimmy! Jim. 392 00:16:05,480 --> 00:16:06,679 How is one? 393 00:16:06,680 --> 00:16:08,479 Look, this is just a quick note to tell you 394 00:16:08,480 --> 00:16:10,639 that I accidentally executed your mother. 395 00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:12,599 I mean, it wasn't a total accident. 396 00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:14,919 I did sign her death warrant, obviously, 397 00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:16,799 but I had second thoughts. 398 00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:18,359 So, erm... 399 00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:19,559 Sad face? 400 00:16:19,560 --> 00:16:21,039 - Hmm! 401 00:16:21,040 --> 00:16:22,400 - Sad face. 402 00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:27,759 - Elizabeth! Hey! 403 00:16:27,760 --> 00:16:32,039 No worries at all about the whole killing my mum thing. 404 00:16:32,040 --> 00:16:33,279 We're cool. Ha-ha, ha! 405 00:16:33,280 --> 00:16:34,879 We are still cool, right? 406 00:16:34,880 --> 00:16:37,639 Cos I really would love to... 407 00:16:37,640 --> 00:16:39,519 To be King of England after you. 408 00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:42,039 Anyway, it was good to hang - not hang. 409 00:16:42,040 --> 00:16:43,919 Losing my head here. Not losing my head! 410 00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:46,080 OK. Got to go. OK. Bye-bye, bye-bye! 411 00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:49,759 That was close. She's terrifying. 412 00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:51,279 - Aye. 413 00:16:51,280 --> 00:16:52,559 I think that's still on, Sire. 414 00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:53,679 - Ah! 415 00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:55,519 - Hello, loyal subjects. 416 00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:56,959 Queen Victoria here. 417 00:16:56,960 --> 00:16:58,959 Queen of the United Kingdom, 418 00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:01,839 Empress of India and grandmother of Europe. 419 00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:04,279 But despite having nine children, 420 00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:06,599 I wasn't actually a huge fan of them. 421 00:17:06,600 --> 00:17:10,519 So which of these did I actually say about babies? 422 00:17:10,520 --> 00:17:12,320 Was it... 423 00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:15,520 FARTING BABY CRYING 424 00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:18,360 FROG CROAKS 425 00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:21,679 DOG WHIMPERS 426 00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:23,399 The answer is B. 427 00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:26,039 They have a terrible frog-like action! 428 00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:28,799 - I took the liberty of organising a demonstration, Ma'am. 429 00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:30,879 - Oh, is this really necessary? 430 00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:32,879 Yes. - I feel it helps clarify what you mean 431 00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:34,399 by baby froggy action, Ma'am. 432 00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:37,039 - Oh, no, no, no. No, no! Stop that at once! 433 00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:39,119 It's reminding me of an actual ugly baby. 434 00:17:39,120 --> 00:17:41,279 And an ugly baby is a very nasty object. 435 00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:42,679 - Oh, please, let him do it. 436 00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:44,559 - No! - Ugh! 437 00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:45,999 - HE HUFFS 438 00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:48,319 You're just as much of a big baby as him. 439 00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:49,480 - Oh... 440 00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:52,639 - Only nine children? 441 00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:54,919 There were 18 in your litter, Rattus, 442 00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:57,719 and I'd already had 40 babies that year. 443 00:17:57,720 --> 00:18:00,959 - Imagine dealing with that many nappies! 444 00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:03,879 - Yeah, particularly with what you did in them. 445 00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:05,879 SHE SCOFFS 446 00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:08,919 - At least Queen Victoria will have had staff to help her. 447 00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:09,999 - You're right. 448 00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:13,759 But being a mother was a lot tougher for other women in Victorian times, 449 00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:16,399 especially if they were working mums. 450 00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:17,839 - Oh, yeah. 451 00:18:17,840 --> 00:18:19,239 - Welcome to the mill. 452 00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:21,719 It's the perfect place for a working mum. 453 00:18:21,720 --> 00:18:23,679 Try not to get your fingers trapped in the loom 454 00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:25,639 because it's a pain getting the blood off the fabric. 455 00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:30,039 - Oh. - Daisy, you better not be playing hide and seek in the machines! 456 00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:31,239 - CLATTERING, GASPING 457 00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:32,519 BOY: - Found you. 458 00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:35,399 - Er, I heard there are good childcare facilities here. 459 00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:37,039 - Oh, aye, there certainly are. 460 00:18:37,040 --> 00:18:38,759 We stick them in a bucket of sawdust. 461 00:18:38,760 --> 00:18:39,839 Harry! 462 00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:40,879 - Yes, Mum? 463 00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:43,319 - You're going to be keeping an eye on Betty's baby. 464 00:18:43,320 --> 00:18:45,039 Where did you get that metal bolt? 465 00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:46,639 - CREAKING 466 00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:48,039 Incoming! 467 00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:49,479 - Oi! 468 00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:52,119 - Right. Well, go and have five minutes' play. 469 00:18:52,120 --> 00:18:53,719 This is grown-up talk. - Woohoo! 470 00:18:53,720 --> 00:18:55,679 - And no gymnastics in the revolving shaft! 471 00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:56,959 You're not made of legs! 472 00:18:56,960 --> 00:18:58,319 - Woohoo! Yeah! 473 00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:00,519 - Have all your children grown up here, then? 474 00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:01,919 - Oh, aye. 475 00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:04,239 Harry were born halfway through a 12-hour shift. 476 00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:06,439 He just came out while I were at the loom. 477 00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:07,839 - Whee! 478 00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:10,799 - William, stop using that machine as a catapult! 479 00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:12,559 You'll knock the pie off the engine. 480 00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:13,679 - Yes, Mum. 481 00:19:13,680 --> 00:19:15,959 - Pie. Is that a technical mill term? 482 00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:17,879 - No, it's chicken and leek. 483 00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:20,639 We heat up the children's lunches on the steam engine 484 00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:21,919 that powers the looms. 485 00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:24,799 Harry, watch your fingers in the loom. 486 00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:25,959 How many times? 487 00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:27,319 - Ah! 488 00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:29,159 - Somebody get Harry a bandage. 489 00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:33,399 - Ooh! - Don't stick your tongue in the spinning jenny, Jenny. 490 00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:36,239 Don't worry. It's not always as quiet as this. 491 00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:37,439 - Whee! 492 00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:38,599 - Woohoo! 493 00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:41,359 - Oh, it's great being a working mum, ain't it? 494 00:19:41,360 --> 00:19:42,559 - Hmm. 495 00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:44,039 - FARTING SPLAT! 496 00:19:44,040 --> 00:19:45,400 - Ugh. 497 00:19:48,040 --> 00:19:49,999 - Isn't this exciting? 498 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:53,439 No-one in the family has ever had a proper photograph before. 499 00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:56,639 - Well, photographing children is my speciality, ma'am. 500 00:19:56,640 --> 00:20:00,359 And may I say how truly lovely you look today. 501 00:20:00,360 --> 00:20:02,599 - It's a shame, really. 502 00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:03,919 - What? 503 00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:06,039 - Now, everybody stay there. 504 00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:07,199 Say cheese. 505 00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:09,519 - I'm sorry. What is going on? 506 00:20:09,520 --> 00:20:12,239 - Oh. Did you not want a rug over your head? 507 00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:14,039 - No, of course not. 508 00:20:14,040 --> 00:20:16,079 - OK. Erm... 509 00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:19,079 Well, we do also offer this option. 510 00:20:19,080 --> 00:20:22,039 If you just come forward, Miss and Ma'am. 511 00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:23,600 Stand there. 512 00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:26,159 Perfect. 513 00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:29,279 Now, daguerreotype photographs take a long time to... 514 00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:30,719 - What are you doing? 515 00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:32,679 And why am I behind a curtain? 516 00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:35,039 HUFFS: - Well, did you want me to disguise you as an armchair? 517 00:20:35,040 --> 00:20:36,359 Because it'll cost more! 518 00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:38,479 - I - don't want to be photographed at all. 519 00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:40,519 HE SIGHS 520 00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:42,639 - Well, how do you expect me to manage that, then? 521 00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:45,559 It takes the camera several minutes to take a picture. 522 00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:48,399 And if they move around at all, it'll come out blurry. 523 00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:50,519 Do you think your kids are going to stay still for that long? 524 00:20:50,520 --> 00:20:51,639 - What do you think? 525 00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:53,479 - You're going to have to hold them. Now. 526 00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:55,360 You can either be under a rug... 527 00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:58,679 ..behind a curtain, 528 00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:01,959 or disguised as an armchair. 529 00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:04,119 - Erm... - Hang on a minute. I got an idea. 530 00:21:04,120 --> 00:21:07,039 Why don't you sit here in the middle with the little one on your lap? 531 00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:08,279 - BABY FUSSES 532 00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:09,559 I really don't want to. 533 00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:10,959 - Don't you worry. 534 00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:12,640 No-one will know you're there. 535 00:21:12,751 --> 00:21:14,839 - Oh! 536 00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:16,079 Thank you. 537 00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:18,839 I just didn't want to do anything to make the photo look silly. 538 00:21:18,840 --> 00:21:22,479 - Now, remember, it takes a few minutes to take a picture. 539 00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:26,519 So everyone say cheese - for ages. 540 00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:32,160 - ALL: - Cheese. 541 00:21:34,040 --> 00:21:37,999 - Oof! Imagine not being able to take a picture together. 542 00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:39,159 Smile, Mum. 543 00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:40,919 - Oh, yeah. OK. 544 00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:41,970 Cheese! 545 00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:44,679 Oh, send me that. 546 00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:46,599 I'll put it on my socials. 547 00:21:46,600 --> 00:21:48,239 Hashtag mamas and son. 548 00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:49,839 Hashtag special little boy. 549 00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:53,079 Hashtag Rattu-son. Love you so much! 550 00:21:53,080 --> 00:21:55,959 - Mum, I don't think you understand hashtags. 551 00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:57,279 - Hashtag, yes, I do. 552 00:21:57,280 --> 00:22:00,039 - Ugh! But I do love you, too. 553 00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:03,639 Of course, lots of people throughout history also love their mums. 554 00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:07,319 In some cases, maybe a bit too much. 555 00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:09,839 - Attention, people of the Zulu nation. 556 00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:11,879 Our warrior king Shaka Zulu 557 00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:14,639 has some extremely sad news. 558 00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:17,039 - My mother, Nandi is dead. 559 00:22:17,040 --> 00:22:18,279 ALL GASP 560 00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:20,879 Not only was she an excellent protector, 561 00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:25,079 but she was the best chief adviser a marauding Zulu warrior king 562 00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:26,479 CHEERING 563 00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:31,799 As such, I am commanding that everyone in the Zulu Kingdom 564 00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:34,359 will enter a period of mourning. 565 00:22:34,360 --> 00:22:36,319 - And that is the end of the announcement. 566 00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:37,679 - And in honour of my mother... 567 00:22:37,680 --> 00:22:39,239 - OK, there's a little bit more. 568 00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:42,719 - ..I decree that during this period of mourning, 569 00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:46,079 all 20,000 of you gathered here 570 00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:48,519 GROANING 571 00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:50,239 And I want proper tears. 572 00:22:50,240 --> 00:22:54,719 None of these fake tears like, "Oh, no, I am sad." 573 00:22:54,720 --> 00:22:57,879 I want everyone to cry hard 574 00:22:57,880 --> 00:22:59,399 until they are dehydrated. 575 00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:00,679 MURMURING 576 00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:02,959 - And how long would you like them to mourn for, Shaka? 577 00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:04,919 A day? Or two days? 578 00:23:04,920 --> 00:23:05,959 - One year! 579 00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:07,439 - What? - One year?! 580 00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:11,039 - Anything less would be a disgrace to my poor mother. 581 00:23:11,040 --> 00:23:13,239 - And that is the end of the announceme... 582 00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:14,799 - And also... - Really? More? 583 00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:19,639 - ..no-one is to plant any crops during this year of mourning. 584 00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:20,959 MUFFLED OUTRAGE 585 00:23:20,960 --> 00:23:22,759 - Shaka, that seems a little extreme. 586 00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:24,239 What will the people eat? 587 00:23:24,240 --> 00:23:25,479 - Excuse me. 588 00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:27,079 Did you not hear that my mother has died? 589 00:23:27,080 --> 00:23:28,879 And all you can think about is food. 590 00:23:28,880 --> 00:23:30,239 Show some respect. 591 00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:31,759 - Well, you are the King. 592 00:23:31,760 --> 00:23:33,039 And thus this ends the... 593 00:23:33,040 --> 00:23:35,079 - And also... - No, he's still going. 594 00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:40,959 - ..I want all the milk cows across the nation slaughtered! 595 00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:44,799 So all the cows can feel the pain that I am feeling right now. 596 00:23:44,800 --> 00:23:46,159 - OK... 597 00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:48,119 Maybe let's just, you know, dial this back a little bit. 598 00:23:48,120 --> 00:23:51,319 - Don't worry about where you will get your milk, 599 00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:54,319 as everyone is banned from drinking it 600 00:23:54,320 --> 00:23:56,399 in honour of my mother. 601 00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:57,759 Why is no-one wailing? 602 00:23:57,760 --> 00:24:00,839 The year-long period of mourning started five minutes ago. 603 00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:03,039 - Ahh... 604 00:24:03,040 --> 00:24:05,199 - Ah! You call that wailing? 605 00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:07,639 BOTH: - Ahh! 606 00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:09,319 Yes! 607 00:24:09,320 --> 00:24:10,559 Cry me a river! 608 00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:12,159 Yes, yes! 609 00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:13,600 That is top-notch wailing. 610 00:24:13,601 --> 00:24:17,519 SOFTLY: - You are going to kill him for this and take over, right? 611 00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:19,239 - Yeah, like, almost immediately. 612 00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:20,279 - What did you say? 613 00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:22,239 - Oh, n... Nothing. Ahh! 614 00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:24,480 - Yes, that's it. From the diaphragm! 615 00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:29,119 - Hello. Nero Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus here. 616 00:24:29,120 --> 00:24:30,959 Or Emperor Nero for short. 617 00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:33,159 I was Roman Emperor number five, 618 00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:36,719 but I was number one when it came to playing the bagpipes! 619 00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:39,039 I loved playing the bagpipes. 620 00:24:39,040 --> 00:24:40,919 Didn't love my mum quite as much. 621 00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:43,039 In fact, I actually tried to have her killed. 622 00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:44,559 Naughty. 623 00:24:44,560 --> 00:24:46,839 But tell me, how did I do that? 624 00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:49,040 Did I... 625 00:24:57,360 --> 00:25:00,999 The answer is A, and also B...and also C. 626 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:02,919 Some people send their mum lovely flowers. 627 00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:04,399 Some send her chocolates. 628 00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:06,319 I sent her assassins. 629 00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:07,959 I wasn't a great son. 630 00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:10,919 But I'll tell you what I was great at 631 00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:12,399 playing the bagpipes. 632 00:25:12,400 --> 00:25:14,159 And so, to lighten the mood, 633 00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:16,559 I'll play you out with this little number I prepared. 634 00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:18,799 A one, a two, a one, two, three. 635 00:25:18,800 --> 00:25:20,119 - BAGPIPES PLAY 636 00:25:20,120 --> 00:25:23,759 That's it for our look at some of history's monstrous mums. 637 00:25:23,760 --> 00:25:25,919 And some magnificent mums, too. 638 00:25:25,920 --> 00:25:27,639 Just like my mum. 639 00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:29,199 Thanks for helping out. 640 00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:31,599 - Oh, you're welcome, darling. 641 00:25:31,600 --> 00:25:36,399 - Ooh! - And I put that video of you as a baby dancing in your nappy online. 642 00:25:36,400 --> 00:25:38,439 It's got a million hits. 643 00:25:38,440 --> 00:25:40,239 You're going to be famous. 644 00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:41,599 - Thanks, Mum. 645 00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:43,039 Fame at last. 646 00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:47,599 But a real big thank you to all the mums and stepmums everywhere. 647 00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:49,439 MUSIC: TO THE TUNE OF HEY YA! 648 00:25:49,440 --> 00:25:52,959 - One, two, three. great 649 00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:56,999 whole world 650 00:25:57,000 --> 00:25:59,559 651 00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:04,119 have unfurled 652 00:26:04,120 --> 00:26:06,359 653 00:26:06,360 --> 00:26:08,319 654 00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:10,639 655 00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:13,239 656 00:26:13,240 --> 00:26:16,919 new wife had died... 657 00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:17,959 Coincidence? 658 00:26:17,960 --> 00:26:20,679 - 659 00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:22,599 660 00:26:22,600 --> 00:26:24,279 - I fought for my grandson, too. 661 00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:27,119 - 662 00:26:27,120 --> 00:26:29,640 663 00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:33,599 - 664 00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:36,920 them all off 665 00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:41,759 will 666 00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:43,480 667 00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:48,479 Antoinette 668 00:26:48,480 --> 00:26:50,640 669 00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:53,919 670 00:26:53,920 --> 00:26:58,119 throne by chance? 671 00:26:58,120 --> 00:27:01,039 - 672 00:27:01,040 --> 00:27:02,959 673 00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:05,079 - Admittedly, it didn't play out perfectly. 674 00:27:05,080 --> 00:27:07,919 - 675 00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:09,520 676 00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:12,839 - 677 00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:13,959 678 00:27:13,960 --> 00:27:15,479 679 00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:17,839 680 00:27:17,840 --> 00:27:21,079 - This story goes out to all the mothers out there. 681 00:27:21,080 --> 00:27:22,719 If you escaped slavery, 682 00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:25,719 you fight to get your children back from those devils! 683 00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:27,159 Take them to court like I did. 684 00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:30,159 Do whatever you can and dedicate your life 685 00:27:30,160 --> 00:27:33,319 to making sure it never happens to anyone else's kids. 686 00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:34,519 - Wow. 687 00:27:34,520 --> 00:27:37,839 My attempts at matchmaking feel kind of weak right now. 688 00:27:37,840 --> 00:27:41,039 - 689 00:27:41,040 --> 00:27:42,559 690 00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:44,599 - We're all mothers. We do what we can. 691 00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:47,839 - 692 00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:50,240 693 00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:55,919 - Whoo! 694 00:27:55,920 --> 00:27:57,039 - LAUGHTER 695 00:27:57,040 --> 00:27:58,719 BEEP! 696 00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:00,119 SQUEALING 697 00:28:00,120 --> 00:28:01,239 LAUGHTER 698 00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:02,559 - Nothing up here, mate. 699 00:28:02,560 --> 00:28:03,719 Nothing. Ugh! 700 00:28:03,720 --> 00:28:05,239 - HE LAUGHS 701 00:28:05,240 --> 00:28:07,799 702 00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:09,279 703 00:28:09,280 --> 00:28:12,760 704 00:28:12,810 --> 00:28:17,360 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0